Banana Boy Rehman Malik’s Hate-affair with Cell phones

Here’s my question: during 2009, it was declared under the Pakistan Cyber Crimes Act that any person who “slander[s] the political leadership of the country” could be taken to task over their words. Basically, this means 14 years in prison, which isn’t a small punishment. Does this mean we have the capacity and the ability to monitor texts? Can we monitor a lot more, as well? If it can manage to monitor text messages that make the President look silly, why can’t the government monitor terrorists in the same way? It’s about inconveniencing people a whole lot so you can feel easier doing your job.

Read More here: COVER STORY.


Why I’ll probably watch: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2

It’s no secret that I hate the Twilight series like a cat hates regular baths and blow dry sessions. And I’ve gone and bashed this franchise over and over again, earning death threats from whiny little girls who like their men all sparkly and stalky. Why would I watch the last movie? Well because the trailer doesn’t seem all that bad. It’s possible that after pushing four ridiculous movies down our throats the last one packs the punch that vampire lovers and werewolf fanatics deserve. Edward isn’t going crazy trying to save Bella from the toasters in her house, she’s a real vampire with real fangs and a real daughter to protect. Jacob doesn’t seem to care much about Bella any more either so he can change into a wolf and date her daughter when she’s all grown up in peace.

Twilight is one of those stories that make you want to barf all the way to Sunday so you can give your brain a rest. But from a movie goers point of view all I see is superpowers, crazy fights and this epic end to something which in essence sucks. I’m not entirely sure that I’ll hate this movie any less than its predecessors (of which I’ve bothered watching only two), but I know for sure that I’m willing to give it a shot.

Malala’s Pakistan doesn’t exist

People calling Malala the true face of Pakistan should really stop and think what their statement connotes. The true face of Pakistan is a female minority that tried to fight for the right to be educated and was shot in the head. The true face of Pakistan’s life has been turned into a circus by the media. The true face of Pakistan is now being turned into a religious war (I’m pretty sure Malala wouldn’t care for the ‘Islamic proof’ that the Taliban are providing as justification for her shooting). Fanaticism and absurdity have now become so deep-rooted in our society that we’re sitting ducks waiting for our heads to be chopped off without even realising it. Malala was never a victim. She was supposed to be a fighter.

Read more: SPEAK OUT.

Bipolar Disorder

Lahore has bipolar disorder. No, this is not a Karachi ki bandi ranting about the city, what’ I’m talking about is the crazy weather here.

So, I woke up this morning drenched in my own sweat, around 6 minutes after the lights went out. In my sleepy stupor I figured I’d probably sleep through the power failure for another 40 minutes, but no, I awoke exactly 6 minutes later wondering what in the world happened to the electricity. 6 minutes, I mean come on! The heat was unbearable and I frankly hate Summers as a general rule, so this is unacceptable. I’m a winters person (and Lahore during the winter time is like floating through heaven with that fog and the chilly air stirring in your nose and what not) and if it were up to me winters would stay throughout the year and never go away.

Right about now you’re probably wondering how I can claim that the weather has bipolar disorder… simple, one day the heat is bad enough to give you a heatstroke and kill you and the next day not only will there be a dust storm, but it almost always has to be followed by a thunderstorm and at times it’s even accompanied by hail. I mean can’t the stupid weather decide what it wants!

I’m from Karachi, where it was the same season pretty much all year around – how many of us have gone through the typical humid and brilliantly windy weather. ‘Chip chip’ that’s all I can think of when I think of Karachi weather, but atleast hawa chalti hai man what the hell!!!

I had heatstroke a few weeks ago. And about two days after I recovered from it I met up with a friend. That was a hot and insane like the rest of the week. The sun was dead and the moon was somewhere in the sky, I’m not sure I didn’t notice the two much. But out of nowhere strong winds smashed into the heat. The trees looked like they were about to fall down and then the dust showed up so we couldn’t really see the trees at all. We were sitting on the steps wondering what was wrong with the weather gods when out of no where it started to hail. It took around 20 minutes for that to stop after which there was no trace of the rain, the hail, the storm or anything else. Welcome back heatwave.


I’m sitting here writing these things frustrated because I wanted to go out right now and get some cotton buds, but guess what, after a crazy stupid hot day it’s now raining!

oh well…


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